Trust Equation

Trust equation and high quality connectedness(HQC) depend on

(Credibility + Reliability + Intimacy) / self-orientation

.....a story to help understand effect of high self orientation.

From diary of Sayed Jaffrey -- the famous   bollywood character actor ---
I was 19 when I married to Mehrunima who was 17. As I grew up, I was very fascinated by the british culture in colonial India. I learnt to speak English fluently, wear suits with grace and developed impeccable etiquettes. But Mehrunima grew up to be my complete opposite - homely, a typical housewife. All my advices and admonishments couldn't change her basic personality - an obedient wife, a doting mother and a good homemaker. But she was not what I wanted. More I tried to change her, more we drifted apart. Gradually she metamorphosed from a cheerful affectionate young girl into a quiet insecure woman. Meanwhile I started getting attracted to a co-actor of mine who was all what I wanted in my wife. After 10 years of marriage, l divorced Mehrunima, left my home and married my co- actor. I had ensured financial security of Mehrunima and my kids. For about 6-7 months everything went well. Then I started realising, my new wife was not caring and affectionate. She was only concerned about her beauty, ambitions, her wants and desires. Sometimes I missed Mehrunima's caring touch and concern for my welfare.
Life moved on. I and my new wife were 2 persons living in a house, not one soul living in a home. I never went back to find out what happened to Mehrunima and my kids.
After about 6 -7 years of my second marriage, I came across an article on a Madhur Jaffrey, an upcoming famous chef who recently launched a book of her own recipes. The moment I looked at the picture of the smart elegant lady, I was stunned. It was Mehrunima. But how could it be ??? She had remarried and changed her maiden name too.
I was shooting abroad at that time. She lived in US now. I caught the next flight to US. I inquired  about her whereabouts and went to meet her. She refused to see me.  My daughter who was 14 and son who was 12,  told her they wanted to talk to me one last time. Her new husband was by her side. He was also my children's legal father now.
To this date, I cannot forget what my children told me.
They told me that their new father knows the meaning of true love. He accepted Mehrunima as she was and never tried to change her into what he himself was, because he loves her more than he loves  himself. He let her evolve at her own pace and never tried to force  his wishes on her. He accepted and enjoyed her person as it was.
And she has bloomed into a confident, loving, affectionate, self reliant lady today under her second husband's selfless love and acceptance.
Where as my selfishness, demands and unacceptance of her persona had crushed her and then in my selfishness I had discarded her.
I Never Loved Her. I Had Always Loved myself and put my interest over hers .

And Those Who Love Themselves without consideration of others, Cannot Love Others.

Meditation N Happiness

"Meditation N Happiness" by RoopakDesai on Wattpad http://my.w.tt/UiNb/HudxRFHGuF

Complain or accept

I think you'd like this story: "Is Complaining Good Or Bad?" by null on Wattpad http://my.w.tt/UiNb/Agpx9L8MZD

Happiness Hacks

I just published "Happiness Hacks" of my story "Happiness Hacks". http://my.w.tt/UiNb/OXDGcbOEZD

Live on edge to live alive

I just published "live " of my story "living with passion". http://my.w.tt/UiNb/QJh7NMvUYD

MarathonForLife

"When passion finds the purpose, your intent manifests realizing your fullest potential."

Back in October, I dedicated my running of the TCS Amsterdam Marathon to all my dear friends around the world who have suffered from severe anxiety, depression and losing hope. I was one of them just a few months prior to Amsterdam and was certainly not in a position, both mentally and physically, to even run five miles, much less 26.2. But, I did it; I finished another marathon.

Call it God's intervention, his blessings, his hands on my shoulders walking with me to supreme awareness through the realization of what matters or maybe it was the blessings of my parents and my loving ones that I crossed the finish line in 5hr 01min dancing, rejoicing and celebrating life. I had improved my time by 38 minutes from the New York City Marathon I had completed a year earlier.

Right after the New York Marathon in November of 2015, I decided I would run Amsterdam in October 2016. But after months of self-doubt, I found myself only 10 weeks away from my second marathon and completely unprepared. I was barely able to run 5 miles without severe heavy breaths. But, that did not deter me. I remembered my goal and rededicated myself to my preparations. With sheer determination, drive, conviction and courage, I meticulously carved out a path for training, which would include a 23 mile run and the Jersey Shore Half Marathon, where I actually shattered my personal best time from two years prior.

Finally I got to Amsterdam and  I ran the marathon of my life. I was full of energy and vigor, and was motivating my fellow runner to find their inner strength to pull through and not give up.

Even though I had already completed a marathon, the second one was much tougher mentally. But, I came out of the entire experience stronger. This time it was not about my physical strength; it was about my growth within. I realized how important it is to do things with passion and with purpose in order to reach my full potential. I was able to gather the necessary strength and rebuild my willpower with the help of my friends, family and my soul buddy Pranav Gandhi. This experience taught be how to remove the anxiety and depression for good.

I've learned that anything is possible for everyone. Just follow your heart, do things with passion, identify purpose behind your actions and go out and realize your full potential. Become like a rock! Flow like a river! Become that exceptional person that you always wanted to be!

Up next… the Stockholm Marathon in September.

Namaste!

JOURNEY TO MarathonOfLife

Story of MarathonForLife:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0ByugbnhhiONBaWZHWXhyOGRJeTVfblZwV0FNSExfNkhBOFdj/view?usp=drivesdk

Think Act Be like a Leader

https://hbr.org/2013/05/act-like-a-leader-before-you-a/

Life - And Realm of Possibilities!

http://launchyourgenius.com/2014/11/11/impossible/

Be Confident÷

http://www.jackiecapersbrownblog.com/2014/04/express-more-confident-you-stengthen.html?m=1

RISE AND SHINE

http://justcoachit.com/blog/2014/08/22/how-to-inspire-and-enable-your-greatest-potential/?utm_content=buffer17149&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Being Unstoppable...from where u are how u are!

http://narofskyconsultinggroup.org/6-keys-to-unleash-your-inspired-and-unstoppable-life/

Take on new challenges and new team!

http://www.tanveernaseer.com/5-leadership-measures-for-successfully-guiding-established-teams/

Ignite your flame and go for GOLD!

http://justcoachit.com/blog/2014/02/18/go-for-the-gold-success-tips/?utm_content=buffered5b9&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Living a fuller life

If you cannot change the circumstances, bring change in yourself - Victor Franknl

http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/06/20/10-ways-to-change-your-life-at-any-age/

Thought to Action: Aspire --> Persevere --> Achieve!!

A guy who never ran 1 mile, never thought of running and never dreamed of running a marathon completed Philadelphia Marathon - half marathon 13.1, a goal achieved that was aspired earlier this year and persevered that was inked on April 22nd, 2013.

It was an overwhelming experience as I crossed over the finish line...an experience that can only be felt with running a marathon.

It all started on December 25th 2012, when I decided to leave behind remaining a couch potato and doing something for my mind, body and to a make a difference for myself. With a brand new pair of $100 Nike running shoes because someone had told that is the only wise investment to be made for running, I started running with baby steps. Everyday 6 am sharp putting on shoes to get on road and practice running irrespective of rain, shine or snow putting on headphones and nice music. And this is how I registered to run my first 5K in April 2013.

It slowly became a habit to put on the headphones and start training with the podcast for 5K101 with a breaths of fresh air. I was always intrigued of what is like to put on headphones and do running or cycling? My wish was thus fulfilled experiencing it myself of what is like to get into zone being with yourself, nature and music. I got opportunity to get some fantastic sunrise pictures and bored people by posting it sharp 7 am while I complete my morning training routine. And this is how I fell in love with nature, a endless love bestowing cradle.

A 12 week program to get ready for 5k is something which I will never forget and be always grateful to have got started with it and ran my first 5k race on April 7th, 2013.

With fever of running still on and excitement on full throttle, I decided to run half marathon amd registered on April 22nd, 2013 to run on November 17th, 2013.

It came down to a full circle of a journey of mine to become a Marathon runner today on November 17th, 2013. As I prepared for half marathon, I went through self training for mind and body to endure pain and fatigue with singular focus. There is not a single day when I have thought of giving up or thinking of may be I won't be able to do it. That is the power of making a goal, putting it down on paper and getting to work on it. I have seen doors of motivation and encouragement opening by itself to keep the fire burning for a desire to change myself into person who can make things possible from zero with sky as a limit. One thing I learnt is one you make a resolve and commit to it, universe comes to help for achieving it which I had in form of fellow running mates, co-workers, and family which made preparation possible and to an ease. So thank you to all.

Today, the atmosphere was just phenomenal with 30 thousand people running @philadelphiamarathon, clamorous supporters with waving and cheering and dedicated volunteers giving Gatorade for sips to stay hydrated to make 13.1 mi run a breeze. There was only goal in mind and that was to complete a marathon which overpowered all my body pain and believe me I had excruciating pain in right knee. But after all, it is the mind that makes you run while body follows. Thus, I totally agree to the fact that preparing for marathon is strengthening your mind as much as strengthening your body.

As I crossed 10 mile mark, for me it was like world has come to stand still and it is only me and inner self who were just running with a feeling that I am what I was supposed to be and have everything in me to become what I want to be. Such an powerful feeling is something I will probably never get over it. And that is why I guess once a runner is always a runner and only runner knows that.

Running is now part of my life, a way of life, something that I will be passing on to my son Aarush who is already a runner and determined to run his 5K next year for which I am so proud of!!.

Roopak Desai
http://facebook.com/coachroopakdesai

#inspire #motivate #innovate #succed

The Power of Visualization for Actualization: Personal Leadership

We all have dreams but we fail to see the future view of ourselves as part of our dreams. Most of the time our dreams are short lived and don’t make it to a vision. Why is so? What is limiting us to go for it and fulfill our dreams? 

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you this strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the starts to change the work” - Harriet Tubman

In order to persevere towards your dream with a vision, the key differentiating factor is how strongly you believe in yourself and your vision. With a powerful purpose, you can do anything. But you have to have that knowing inside you, in a deep and resonating way. Visualization technique is a process that allows you to connect deeply with your purpose, and you will be able to persevere through any obstacles you encounter. Not only that, it helps and guides you to taking small steps as you go along and build your vision into a reality.

The technique of visualization according to me is a process that helps to drive your vision into a  reality through intention which creates Focus, attention that gets you Committed and manifestation to see Possibilities.

I happen to learn visualization technique and process while attending the Happiness Advantage: Level 1 program delivered by Institute for Advanced Human Performance (IFAHP).  Recently, I had an opportunity to have a very exciting conversation with Braco Pobric founding member and Chief Happiness Officer of the Institute. And it led to unleash some very grounding research on how this visualization technique came to existence and understanding of power of visualization to actualize your vision and dreams.

In late 1960, it all began with the extensive research by Dr. Ira Progoff who then developed the Intensive Journal Method to provide a way to mirror the processes by which people become dynamic and develop themselves. The fundamentals around this method focuses on ability to connect to your true self and then to become immersed in your own growth, drawing forth your unique potential and unfolding life process. 

It was in 2001, when Dr Laura King after extensive research in field of positive psychology, personality processes, meaning in life, motivation and folk theory of good life who really put forward the power of intuition, magic and meaning. She pioneered the first experimental study of optimism by having a group of participants do what’s come to be known as the "Best Possible Self" exercise.

And the research publication by Dr. Sonja Lyumomisrky on “How to increase and sustain positive emotion: The effects of expressing gratitude and visualizing best possible selves” in 2006 gave us correlation around visualization of best possible self, positive emotions and well being.

Question: What is the first step to be done for applying visualization technique to achieve your vision?
Braco: The vision is not a single statement or a thing that magically presents to you. It is something you want to become or achieve in finite period of time. You must first find what is it and then write it down of what you want or become in next 5 years. The key to visualization technique is ability to see, feel and experience the vision coming alive through minds eye. And then taking action towards it as you find the opportunities.

Question: Why do you think visualization plays the vital role in achieving the vision?
Braco: There is science behind the visualization technique. As per neurosciences, the brain releases a neurotransmitter called dopamine which enables us not only to see rewards, but to take action to move towards rewards. Thus, the very act of providing the detail picture of your end goal is enough to release the same dopamine as to actually meeting success to steer you towards success.

Question: What is the impact of visualization on NP (Neural Programming) of brain?
Braco: Brain undergoes changes throughout the entire life like body goes through changes. The changes are based on what you think, act and experience. This can be related to Neuroplasticity which is ability to create new neural connections throughout entire life. And as research suggested that with visualization of best possible self it generates positive emotions to induce positivity and optimism which translates brain to reorganize its responses to new situation and environment of greater belief in yourself.

Question: How does visualization help mind to drive toward the goals and vision?
Braco: If you don’t see goals being achieved, then you may end up into negative mindset and your mind will give you responses of it cannot be done. But with visualizing that your goals are being met, you are seeing them happening through mind’s eye. And it has been studied and researched that mind does not like the gap of what you see and what is the reality. So it helps you to steer and  take action for inching forward towards your goal and vision.

Question: How does visualization help in connecting deeply with the purpose and feel strongly about the vision?
Braco: The first level where you can apply the visualization it by setting goals with defined objectives and seeing it happening. The second level is seeing yourself in let’s say 2, 5, 10 years of what you become on the broader scope and building that vision into reality. The third level is dream which is at much larger level encompassing long term vision. As you visualize yourself beyond goal, vision and dream it helps you to realize with underlying purpose of your thoughts, actions and beliefs. You then slowly evolve in connecting your vision and dream to larger purpose which becomes internal source of motivation and drive to fuel yourself. 

I have undergone a transformation as I continue to practice visualization through visioning meditation for my goals and vision. With seeing myself successful in my vision of what I plan to become in 5 years, I am able to see and unlock the doors of opportunities to build upon in a way that otherwise would not be even come close to thinking of the possibility. 

The visualization technique can help you to overcome obstacles and difficulties as you march towards your goals. It helps you go beyond your self-limiting beliefs about yourself and move you beyond current circumstances. It instills the strong belief of your ability to achieve your goals and thus if makes you ask questions like “what if’ or “what else” and thus opening doors of possibilities and opportunities.

The power of visualization to actualization according to me is nothing but power of believing yourself. The only enemy of oneself is self. You need to look, feel and experience beyond your personal circumstances or limitation to achieve what you vision and dream about. 
 

The vision to see, the faith to believe, and the will to do will take you anywhere you want to go.

Why routine matters?

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2011/09/05/bookend-your-day-the-power-of-morning-and-evening-routines/

Becoming successful..

https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130814145719-32503052-top-5-tips-for-becoming-a-successful-entrepreneur?_mSplash=1

Leadership >> Make it happen!!

Leadership is many things to many people. For some it is about about leading an effort, for some it is about steering a ship, for some it is about bringing in a new idea, for some it is paving a path for success, for some it is about motivating people, and the list does not end here. But according to me, Leadership is about making things happen!

To be a leader takes much more than what you are made of and rise above any odds that comes on the way in the execution of a task, a goal or a project.

We are into highly competitive environment where everything is being watched under microscope that includes time, effort, resources,  team dynamics, work-life balance, changing priorities and at the same time ability to get things done in time with utmost quality meeting core objectives of a project. Leadership is about how effectively and efficiently you juggle all these dimensions and making it happen in a way that management could count on you for even tougher and challenging task.

So how is this done? What it takes to get all the ducks lined up for a perfect score? Here are 5 core components which are crucial for a leader:


1. Attitude

The first and for most is the attitude which which you take up the task  and plan around its execution. You are in the game to win and not just play. You must come up with a wining strategy and mindset which sets the course from the get go. Seeing of the big picture and getting on with positive foot hold from the get go is the key to get the project off the ground with a solid start.

2. Purpose

You must be very clear on the purpose of over all task on hand and establish the clarity with the team. It is very important to not limit the goal to list of tasks but to tie with larger objective which could be performance improvement, cost savings, customer satisfaction, technology innovation, process improvement, global campaign or product innovation. This plays a vital role in team engagement as all individual tasks are being implemented.

3. Motivation

Any rock can be moved but for that it is not only requires you to be motivated but entire team and partners involved to make it happen. You need to have both intrinsic and extrinsic motivation to help motivate your team. This does not come easy. It requires total dedication, commitment and positive mindset to drive yourself and team.

4. Focus

With the continuous changing environment and priorities, it is very difficult to keep focus and stay on the course. The key differentiator here is to have agility and nimbleness to adjust, adapt, respond,  and be resourceful in the face of change. And ability to seek opportunities to learn and learn quickly as things happening as well from experiences to apply as needed.

5. Skill

To achieve results, you must effectively manage people and processes. This requires skills along with attitude, motivation and focus. Based on my experience, the skills needed the most are:

• Self-awareness - You must be able to continuously evaluate the proceedings and health of project under way. This includes team spirit, dynamics, and external environmental factors which are not in control. Along with this you must be in total understanding of style, shortcomings, strengths and motivation to help take day to day decisions, delegation and taking a stand on approach to be taken keeping partners/stakeholders into perspective.

• Communication - Clear, direct and inclusive communication is must to set the direction and guide the implementation. You have to make sure that the channels of communications are open to enable sharing of ideas and induce creativity. It is very important to learn and have skill of communicating top, down and accross of the same message to have its impact in its respective space. It is always good to share more information rather than hide it with team, partners, stakeholders and sponsors.

• Influence - It is vital to develop variety of influencing styles to help you get different people with different people perspectives on board. This involves networking and building lasting relationships with people on team and outside of team to help reaching out in times of need where time is of essence. For any project to succeed, it requires 4C's:  Cooperation + Coordination + Communication + Collaboration. And each of it requires good influencing skill to have commitment from all parties involved to achieve successful results

With these 5 core competencies under belt, leader can navigate through any storm, twists, uncertainty and roadblocks to guide the ship to MAKE THINGS HAPPEN!!!

Roopak Desai
http://www.facebook.com/coachroopakdesai