Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Trust Equation

Trust equation and high quality connectedness(HQC) depend on

(Credibility + Reliability + Intimacy) / self-orientation

.....a story to help understand effect of high self orientation.

From diary of Sayed Jaffrey -- the famous   bollywood character actor ---
I was 19 when I married to Mehrunima who was 17. As I grew up, I was very fascinated by the british culture in colonial India. I learnt to speak English fluently, wear suits with grace and developed impeccable etiquettes. But Mehrunima grew up to be my complete opposite - homely, a typical housewife. All my advices and admonishments couldn't change her basic personality - an obedient wife, a doting mother and a good homemaker. But she was not what I wanted. More I tried to change her, more we drifted apart. Gradually she metamorphosed from a cheerful affectionate young girl into a quiet insecure woman. Meanwhile I started getting attracted to a co-actor of mine who was all what I wanted in my wife. After 10 years of marriage, l divorced Mehrunima, left my home and married my co- actor. I had ensured financial security of Mehrunima and my kids. For about 6-7 months everything went well. Then I started realising, my new wife was not caring and affectionate. She was only concerned about her beauty, ambitions, her wants and desires. Sometimes I missed Mehrunima's caring touch and concern for my welfare.
Life moved on. I and my new wife were 2 persons living in a house, not one soul living in a home. I never went back to find out what happened to Mehrunima and my kids.
After about 6 -7 years of my second marriage, I came across an article on a Madhur Jaffrey, an upcoming famous chef who recently launched a book of her own recipes. The moment I looked at the picture of the smart elegant lady, I was stunned. It was Mehrunima. But how could it be ??? She had remarried and changed her maiden name too.
I was shooting abroad at that time. She lived in US now. I caught the next flight to US. I inquired  about her whereabouts and went to meet her. She refused to see me.  My daughter who was 14 and son who was 12,  told her they wanted to talk to me one last time. Her new husband was by her side. He was also my children's legal father now.
To this date, I cannot forget what my children told me.
They told me that their new father knows the meaning of true love. He accepted Mehrunima as she was and never tried to change her into what he himself was, because he loves her more than he loves  himself. He let her evolve at her own pace and never tried to force  his wishes on her. He accepted and enjoyed her person as it was.
And she has bloomed into a confident, loving, affectionate, self reliant lady today under her second husband's selfless love and acceptance.
Where as my selfishness, demands and unacceptance of her persona had crushed her and then in my selfishness I had discarded her.
I Never Loved Her. I Had Always Loved myself.

And Those Who Love Themselves, Cannot Love Others.

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Meditation N Happiness

"Meditation N Happiness" by RoopakDesai on Wattpad http://my.w.tt/UiNb/HudxRFHGuF

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Complain or accept

I think you'd like this story: "Is Complaining Good Or Bad?" by null on Wattpad http://my.w.tt/UiNb/Agpx9L8MZD

Happiness Hacks

I just published "Happiness Hacks" of my story "Happiness Hacks". http://my.w.tt/UiNb/OXDGcbOEZD

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Live on edge to live alive

I just published "live " of my story "living with passion". http://my.w.tt/UiNb/QJh7NMvUYD

Saturday, April 1, 2017

MarathonForLife

"When passion finds the purpose, your intent manifests realizing your fullest potential."

Back in October, I dedicated my running of the TCS Amsterdam Marathon to all my dear friends around the world who have suffered from severe anxiety, depression and losing hope. I was one of them just a few months prior to Amsterdam and was certainly not in a position, both mentally and physically, to even run five miles, much less 26.2. But, I did it; I finished another marathon.

Call it God's intervention, his blessings, his hands on my shoulders walking with me to supreme awareness through the realization of what matters or maybe it was the blessings of my parents and my loving ones that I crossed the finish line in 5hr 01min dancing, rejoicing and celebrating life. I had improved my time by 38 minutes from the New York City Marathon I had completed a year earlier.

Right after the New York Marathon in November of 2015, I decided I would run Amsterdam in October 2016. But after months of self-doubt, I found myself only 10 weeks away from my second marathon and completely unprepared. I was barely able to run 5 miles without severe heavy breaths. But, that did not deter me. I remembered my goal and rededicated myself to my preparations. With sheer determination, drive, conviction and courage, I meticulously carved out a path for training, which would include a 23 mile run and the Jersey Shore Half Marathon, where I actually shattered my personal best time from two years prior.

Finally I got to Amsterdam and  I ran the marathon of my life. I was full of energy and vigor, and was motivating my fellow runner to find their inner strength to pull through and not give up.

Even though I had already completed a marathon, the second one was much tougher mentally. But, I came out of the entire experience stronger. This time it was not about my physical strength; it was about my growth within. I realized how important it is to do things with passion and with purpose in order to reach my full potential. I was able to gather the necessary strength and rebuild my willpower with the help of my friends, family and my soul buddy Pranav Gandhi. This experience taught be how to remove the anxiety and depression for good.

I've learned that anything is possible for everyone. Just follow your heart, do things with passion, identify purpose behind your actions and go out and realize your full potential. Become like a rock! Flow like a river! Become that exceptional person that you always wanted to be!

Up next… the Stockholm Marathon in September.

Namaste!